Troubled thoughts and the self esteem to match

One this particularly low Sunday I made a call to a friend to lift my spirits; and it definitely helped. Reminiscing on past victories and planning for future successes was quite the spirit lifter. 

The day didn't start out real well. Bad dream last night, followed by two hours of laundry, followed by having to fold and put away all of that laundry. I may reorganize my closet tonight, which strangely enough, may lift my spirits quite a bit.

So about that dream. Not only was it a harsh reminder of my past, but Dream Andrea also fell into an unfortunate set of circumstances that are literally one of my biggest fears in life.  (Don't get your hopes up - I'm going to continue to speak in abstraction about all of this because the reality of the details is too emotionally embarrassing to divulge.) How do you get a person out of your head? When they've infiltrated your dreams is there really anything that you can do to get them out of your head the rest of the day? To me, it's almost worse than actually seeing them, because you made it up in your head rather than stumbling upon them on accident. In consciousness I say one thing, but apparently not even my unconscious self believes that. I wonder what the rest of the world thinks.

On another note...

 I know that Festivus was a few months ago, but in light of my general mood today here are today's Airing of the Grievances...

Things that make me really angry:

- having to lug four loads of laundry to the laundermat
- not being able to participate a traditional three day drinking weekend (for health and financial purposes)
- my iPod dieing when I am on a run
- working at Kohl'
- the fact that I have the urge to go back to Milwaukee every weekend despite the fact that my weekends here in LaX are numbered
- air conditioning
- feeling like I'm going to be stuck here forever
- not being able to talk newspaper stuff anymore
- coming back from the laundermat with one less sock 
- having to pay for transcripts to be sent to other schools
- not being able to get things out of my head (a phrase, a joke, a laugh, a word)
- my horoscope today (it said I'd be exchanging love notes with my romantic partner)
- seeing a teal car that occasionally parks on State St.


But it isn't all bad...(it is a shorter list, but they're the only things keeping my off this emotional ledge today)

Things that make me really happy today:

+ iced tea from Java Detour
+ planning a much needed girls night
+ thinking about Maggie and Nate's wedding
+ phone calls with Hannah

Here's to hoping the rest of this Sunday doesn't suck so much.

5 of 6

This is a much belated blog.

I have had to focus all of my writing energy on my graduate school applications in the past few weeks, so my blog has fallen by the way side.  But now that I’ve for 5 for the 6 applications sent out, I can refocus on the rest of my life. NYU, George Washington University, Columbia Summer Publishing, University of Denver Summer Publishing, and NYU Summer Publishing are all sent out, Pace will be sent out when I get back from Vegas next week; so now the waiting begins.  I have no idea what kind of timeline applications are processed on, but I sure hope it happens by the end of April. I will be needing plenty of time to figure out what I am doing after May 30 when my lease ends, grad school or no grad school.

For all of the applications, a similar series of questions were posed for the personal statements: why do you want attend (insert name of program here)? Tell us about your previous experiences in publishing? Etc., etc.  Each personal statement was tweaked a little bit obviously, but overall they were all the same thing. Since I haven’t been blogging lately, I’ll at least post what I have been working on, so here it is – my graduate school application personal statement…

Like most students, I started my undergraduate career headed down a very different path than the one I am on now. I came to college with a lot of preconceived notions about what I was going to do when I grew up, where I would live, and how my life would play out. But then like most well thought out plans, things changed.  I became a writer for my university’s student newspaper, The Racquet, and by the time my first story was published all those preconceived notions, all those carefully devised plans, went right out the window. I had found something that truly interested me, something that I could really dedicate myself to.

As a reporter I learned the importance of meeting press deadlines, accurate and ethical writing, as well as credibility to the public. During my three years as Editor in Chief I demonstrated my ability to balance my work for the newspaper with my rigorous academic schedule by increasing on-campus circulation, improving the overall quality of the newspaper, and maintaining Dean’s List within my two majors. During my final two semesters at UW-L I was able to complete an original research project on university newspaper design. From a full literature review to an exhaustive data analysis, this research was both challenging and rewarding; and the end of the semester I was proud to present new information to the field of study based on my results.

During my undergraduate career at UW-L I placed a very high value on my academics and my research, but I can easily say that my experience at The Racquet has been my most important influence. It allowed me to be the purveyor of information and entertainment to the public, something that, until I had that first story published, I didn’t understand the significance of.  But now, I am looking for my next great influence, something for the next stage in my life where I can use my skills as a writer, editor, designer, manager, and publisher to reach out to the masses.

Throughout my undergraduate career I was able to explore the many divisions of the newspaper industry and I can confidently say that I would like to expand my education of the publishing industry at New York University. Earning my Bachelors’ degrees in English and Communication Studies from UW-La Crosse, along with my experiences at The Racquet, have laid the building blocks for my career in publishing, but if I were to earn my Masters of Professional Studies in Publishing from New York University, it would the cornerstone of my professional career. I strive to work in the publishing industry because I thrive in fast paced environments where my success as an individual is valued as highly the collaborative efforts of the group; where designs and deadlines dictate my daily work; and where I can be proud the final product as it is presented to the world.