My Favorite Types of Race Survival Strategies, Sarcastic Ones

Every year leading up to the New York City Marathon, The New York Times has a blog called On The Run that features, as you may have already concluded, posts about running. They range in topic from the actual race itself, general tips and tricks, the latest sports science research, and to my surprise today, a little running satire as well. Today's post, entitled "Marathon Survival Strategies" immediately reminded me of my post from earlier this year, "How Not to Do an 11-Mile Training Run: A Tutorial." Have just completed a run so despicable I barely wanted to count it toward my training, all I could do was list out my failures, laugh at it, and move on.

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Today's "Survival Strategies" post held much of the same tone; the author, reflecting on a conversation with "a proper runner [...] — you know, the kind who just took up running and completed her first marathon in 3 hours 15 minutes. She said it was easy. She was annoying," came to the following conclusions about running a marathon:

"Negative splitting (running the second half of the race faster than the first) is the way to a world record. You’re welcome."

"Repeat power words to yourself, like “I’m strong,” or “Quick cadence,” or “I can always drop out.” Make sure you’re saying them silently."

"If you feel yourself tiring, run faster. Brilliantly counterintuitive!"

And, my personal favorite - 

"Do not, under any circumstances, think, “Where, for the love of god, is the two-mile mark?”"

I have never run a marathon before, and I'm not sure it's ever going to be in the cards for me. But as a half marathoner (does two qualify me as a half marathoner?) I can certainly appreciate her sentiment. During my recent half in Philly, that damn three-mile marker took f.o.r.e.v.e.r to show up. Nothing like being bored/tired/worn out and still having 10 miles to go. So, I get it. 

As I type this, it's Wednesday evening and the New York Road Runners (the group who organizes the NYC Marathon) says the race is go on as planned. In case you hadn't heard, there was a hurricane earlier this week and most of Manhattan is still either underwater and/or without power. Not sure how you couldn't have heard about that, but just thought I'd fill you in. For the runners' sakes, I hope the race happens as planned. Nothing like training for months or even years for a race, only for it to be postponed. But even more for the runners' sakes, I hope the NYRR are prepared to host this race on an island recovering from major hurricane damage. Two hours into the race is not the time to realize that you don't have adequate supply chains ready for race day.

And now would be a good time for a shout out to my dear friend Christy, who is running in the New York City Marathon on Sunday. I'll say it again just for extra emphasis. Christy, who is running in the New York City Marathon on Sunday. Girl, you've been trying to get into this race for a long, long time.  You've spent a lot of money to get here. You'd logged a lot of miles to be ready. This is your race. Hurricane or not. I know you are capable of reaching your goal. I just hope those damn NYRR don't drag you down with their nonsense. Good luck! And from one running blogger to another, I can't wait to read your extraordinarily long race recap next week :)

I am happily not race training right now. I've got a little bargain worked out with myself from now through January: I don't have to run anything longer than six miles, focus on improving my shorter distances and maybe shed a few minutes off my 5K time, if I go full out into race training in the New Year. Deal. So lately it's been three miles on weekdays and five miles on Saturdays. And I'm quite happy so far. Hoping to stay happy and injury free until January. Then the real fun begins.

Happy Wednesday night everybody. And to all the NYC Marathoners out there, tope your tapering is going well!


Also, every time I type "marathon" it comes out "marathong." Every time. What is wrong with my fingers? I blame the keyboard. Or autocorrect. Or something.